My future wife

 

Here I am, thinking about you again and wondering if you’re thinking about me. I have come to the point where I am finally starting to give up striving and trying to make my own plans and my own timing work. I am starting to learn to rest my mind and my heart in God’s plan and His timing. As the name of the book I just got from a friend says, “I Gave God Time”. That’s all He needs to pull off the biggest miracles– time.

So I pray that your heart is at rest. That you are comfortable where you are and not striving like I have been most of my life. I pray your heart is captured and captivated by Almighty Allah and that you are so in love with His prophet Muhammad (saw) and his teachings. And that he has become everything to you and every other thing in your life falls back into its proper place.

I pray that you are fully coming alive to all that God made you to be. That you know where your beauty comes from and that you treasure your femininity as a gift from God..

I pray that your heart is being set free to love. That all your fears and insecurities are driven away and that peace will rule your heart and mind. I pray you look at every heartache and heartbreak as a means of molding you into the woman who will completely dazzle me.

Waiting is hard, but the longer the wait, the more we will treasure finding each other. I can’t wait to be your husband and do all I can to be a part of unveiling your true beauty for the world to see. I am waiting for that day, letting God transform me into the man you deserve.

Until then, take courage, dear heart. The night seems long but dawn is just around the corner. Hold on.

Greatest Gift

A mother's love is a gift from God. A special gift that can't be replaced. Having a mother like you while growing up was the greatest gift and biggest advantage anyone could ever have given me. It is because of the confidence and values that you installed in me,  your  a fighter, a lover, my staff and my rod. You taught me some of the biggest lessons in life. You protected me from harm and danger and you wiped my tears when they've shed from my eyes. There's nothing like a mother's love, because she's a women of love and care. A mother will do anything for her offspring it doesn't matter if she’s human or animal, they all show the same character traits. Having you in my life through out my infertility has been a literal life and sanity saver for me. If there was a text book on how to be the perfect mother to an infertile child, it would have you as the role model.

Through the issues in my life, my mother has never left my side. She's the only one who has been there for me and the only one to understand me as a child. No she's not a single parent. My mother is the only woman I know who can go through pain and heartache and still manage to smile. Her smile is so warm and gentle filled with passion and love.  My mother's love is nothing like anything else that's why it can't even be compared. She kept me afloat and am truly grateful.

Thank you for your unwavering support through out my journey.
Thank you for taking me to hospital and sitting with me through all those consultations, tests, injections and telling me I will be alright.

Thank you for always taking an interest in what am doing in school or at home.
Thank you for teaching me that smoking or taking drugs doesn’t add a worth to my life.
Thank you for all the smiles you put on my face when my anger crosses the way.
Thank you for always having hope in me when I didn’t have for myself.
Thank you for telling me not to give up in school when I don’t do well.
Thank you for never giving up on me..
Thank you, for every thing you have done for me, thank you for every thing you have said, and for all the times when you said nothing and just listened
Thank you for teaching me how to pray, making me pray and also praying for me. I will never stop praying for you.
Thank you.. thank you.. thank you... For a trillion things, for everything. I don’t know what I would do without you. There are so many many more things, small things, big things
Thank you “Umma” , I love you, more than words can ever express. Your love is nothing like anything else that's why it can't even be compared.

Tribute to my Best Freind :'(

This is to my friend who lost his life fighting a cardiac disease.
R.I.P. Muhammed Abdulmajid

Holding to what I’m feeling
is the way i cross my 24 hours
feels like heavy red blood being poured on me
through dark beastly showers!
I still see you in front of my eyes.
You must be looking at me
from where you are
but I wish i could change what was meant to be!

I keep your picture in my pocket
my mind can’t focus on anything
it just wants you to breathe
and fly back down and nothing more!
May May Almighty Allah Join us back in Jannatul Fidaus
because everyday I wept rivers since you left

Your carefree laughter
our very own high fives
i miss them all!
I can't ask God why you, Because Destiny must just BE!
It's hard to believe you are gone
I can’t find you anywhere
I miss you so bad.
there’s you in everything I do
I cant go to our loved places
for the fear of missing you
but I still try to find you in those different faces!

You must be eyeing our deeds
from the Holy grand heaven
I can do nothing but just pray for your soul
May Allah rejoin us in Jannatul fidaus!