To my future wife

I found myself thinking about you today. Wondering where you are, what you�re thinking and doing. It hurts a little not to be with you, but I can live with that for now, knowing that we�ll spend the rest of our lives together.

 I am writing you this letter so that you understand better the road we are going to travel and where we are heading as God's creatures who are burdened by the Almighty in this temporal world. So that we will be better prepared to mutually understand, to mutually empathize and to be grateful for what have been outlined by God for our family.

 I think a lot about chastity � modesty and purity in my thoughts, words, the way we dress and act � how it�s a building block for a perfect love that casts out all fear. And sex before marriage brings many fears � pregnancy, STDs, the emotional scars associated with broken relationships. So, in the search for perfect love, it only makes sense to practice chastity and wait until you�re married to give yourself to the person you love. And --- OUR marriage will bring with it the and build our future together.

My future wife, if one day I don't make you happy like all other days , forgive me. But as a husband, I will always try my best to be the best!
My future wife, you know I'm not a perfect person in every way. So help me improve it with your advices, your criticisms and anything that can make the obedience to God increases everyday.
When God blesses Us
Teach our children that it is far honourable to fail than to cheat...
Teach them to have faith even if everyone tells them they are wrong...
Teach them to be gentle with gentle people, and tough with the tough.
Teach them to be angry when the truth is humiliated, teach them to fight against any oppression on anyone. Advices them to help each other to continue to be obedient to Allah and His prophet.

Maybe I am expecting too much from you, too demanding on you and asking what might be too heavy for you. But believe me, I as a husband will try to be a good companion, a loyal listener to your inputs and advices, to help each other to continue to be obedient to Allah and His prophet!

You may have been waiting and looking for me all the while. You may be starting today. Either way, we�ll know when we�ve found each other; we�ll be together for the rest of our lives and the wait will have been worthwhile.

All My Love,

Your Future Husband

my letter to Tish.....

I Still Love You,
There is no one to blame but myself for all the things that got you  angry and made you push me away
I know it’s been  tough
but I want you to know this 
This person  still loves you.

Of all the girls I have ever felt love for you are the most unique.
If only for your astonishing abundance of sense of humor 
And  your  still  existence in my heart!

It’s not fair for I know what I tried to do wasn't right,
That I  wanted to  suck up all the love and care you built in many years
But be  rest assured though, that unlike the John Waters inspired “trashy-chic”  the love I have for you is genuine.
Much like the crematorium on Falls Road that fills the late night with the scent of Life  ,
You’re odd in a purely un-ironic way.
And that’s why I love you!

Yes, I admit it’s true; that I've been a Jerk
known to have  describe you as the  unfamiliar.
But do not take this as an insult.
please but as cries of help by an unwanted frustrated lover!

It’s your open heart that I find so attractive. So young
You’re special, With a Mother's heart!
It's great being able to know you and
Look through into each others' troubles .
I can't  even deal with the ever present warmth you always showed 
having to sit down and talk my problems with you.

However, I have to admit letting you go was never my option and it's still isn't.
I know you thought I dropped everything to rest, but believe me my heart promised itself never to let you out!
It has locked you up as a prisoner serving a life sentence  and no any other person can unlock that.
I like you a lot more than you imagine
You are the Rock that makes me Roll

I just wish we never met
What I’m saying is, it’s not you , it’s me!
Am afraid of becoming an obstacle for your love life!
But there again meeting you was a landmark to my life..
And I will always put a star at that point!
Sorry for the trouble that I put you and your heart through!
God knows that I'd do anything for a part 2.
I'll be praying for the day you come back to me, saying that you love  me!

beginning.....

Life had been very cruel to me, I had been battered with lots of emotional ups and down for as long as i remember. I thought it came to end when i finally met ............., unfortunately she was gone.

And here I am, alone, deserted, and feeling neglected again.

I thought i was about to write happy moments to share with you, I thought my blog will be filled with entries full of hope and happiness, but then i spoke to soon, and here i am writing another stuff from my broken heart.

I cannot refrain from crying, my heart just can no longer contain the hurt and loneliness, I just want to cry my heart out, the loss, the pain, and the feeling of loneliness just keep pulling me down to the abyss of darkness, and i am left with this broken dreams, and another broken heart.

Have i been so bad that i am being punished and all those that i love just cannot be with me?

Why have you left me ...........?

OH GOD! Please help me, give me strength to face all the trials you brought upon me. Guide me and please do not release my hand from your grasp, i need you to help me as i journey in this troubled path.

I feel i had been battered to much, i cant take it anymore.

HELP ME, SAVE ME, GUIDE ME, that i will be able to reach another day with the promise of a good sunrise

is it cowardice?

I can't stop wondering why we people are cowards, when it comes to expressing our feelings for someone...

-is it because we are feeling vulnerable when we show our real emotional self?

Is it a bad thing to tell someone that we like them for something more than just sex?

Is it a bad thing to have feelings that go beyond physical desire?

Is it wrong to want someone because of how they look, but at the same time because of how they make us feel, or because of who they seem to be?

-is it because we are afraid that they will not answer back with the same tone in their voice?

is it a bad thing to be honest about how you feel, and at the same time to be ready to be rejected or embraced?

is it that hard?

isn't it worth it?

isn't it?

People We Meet in life!

Lets face it! This is a life where we meet so many people of different personas. No single human is treated the same way the other person is! We like someone, we dislike someone, some are deeply hated by us and some are deeply loved by us too!
We even don’t share the same relationship and warmth with everyone too. Some people are extremely compatible that we tend to gel with them instantly on the first talks while some are so rude or introvert that no matter how hard you try, they always end up speaking bad words behind your back. But nothing can be done for that. Probably this is what we call life!
I always end up thinking that we meet people just because there is a reason behind it. Sooner or later, this particular ‘meeting’ affects our lives in some way or the other. I am not talking about people we meet in streets , just for a span of two or three minutes… No! Here I mean that even a small acquaintance can leave you in the memories of that particular person for the rest of your life time. It may be a small meeting at a friend’s place, ceremony, club school or a shop, the instances are endless, but they do impact our lives in a major way.
In addition to this, our thinking, way of understanding people around us and our feelings change on a daily basis as we encounter them and get to know about their personalities in a better way.
But then sometimes I think that our destiny is tied with these people. If we have to meet someone, circumstances turn in such a way that our fate makes us stand right in front of that with whom we are destined to meet. I am quite sure that you have met that best friend of yours at such a point of your life when there was every chance that you could have never met him/ her. And see now, both of you are sitting at that favorite place of yours. Once strangers, now friends!
Have you ever thought what if you have been working in some other work place, or have been to a different educational institution or stayed in a different locality?  Would you have the same persona like you have now? Would you be the same person as you are now? Certainly NOT! It means that people around us not only become a part of our destiny but also effect our personality in some way or the other.
Well, you may ask me as to what I have gained after meeting these people that I come across in my life. My simplest answer would be Yes! I have gone through a lot till now, courtesy these people and the effect which they have left on my life can’t be SHOWN but FELT! What is left in my hand at the end of the day is INTANGIBLE, but the memories are locked in my heart!
Hence, concluding my piece, I just want to say that Yes! People do have a particular part to play in our lives and it’s all destined! One never knows when he or she bumps into that special someone in the life; it can be on a street, or in a bus, in a plane…. Whatever would be the situation, JUST BE PREPARED GUYS!

my challenge

So here I am, full of life and full of dreams, up to any challenge in any given day. Except for this day when I lay in bed daydreaming about hooking and keeping my lady. I am what people perceive as a typical African, ready to conquer the world. I take pride in the fact that I know who I am, I know what I want out of life and I know where I am going. I am smart, strong, grounded,  and I am not afraid of the mirror. But I am in love.
If I am honest with myself and everyone I would admit that most of the things in my life right now do not make sense. How could they, when I don’t know whether I am coming or going. I hide behind ‘I am a man and I have the prerogative to change my mind’ when I don’t seem to make sense to anyone around me. I say this because, truth be told, I have no idea what is going with me either. If Bruno Mars is to be believed in his new song Grenade, it seems the guys also suffer from some kind of love insanity. I especially love Rod Stewart’s Track of my Tears because it tells me that his heart is breaking just like mine. Add to the list Sheryl Crowe’s Picture (feat Kid Rock) and I feel a lot better.
On days when my sanity is with me, I ask myself ‘What is wrong with you?’ When did all that matter seem to be ‘does she love me and is she missing me’? Is this what happened to all the men who happily gave up their careers to take care of her and the children? Suddenly love took over and all that mattered was her?
Is this what the future holds if I let love conquer me? Should I bow to it and let it be my ruler? Let it blind me so I don’t see how it has taken my ambition to be the CEO, driving that Lamborghini, with timeshares so I can go do what i desire to do. Let it take over so I don’t see the hair falling off my head, and the “love handles” plus extras that will shutter my mirror to pieces for ever.
Hell NO!!! In life there are boundaries and guidelines. I shall bow to love but I draw the line on the love handles.  Goodbye madness, welcome  sanity.

From the day I actually noticed her, I had dreams about her. Everyday I would..... l more and more. Eventually I became in love with her. Every second-going through my head is her name. I can't get over her.  Every night I as I lay down to sleep, I think of me someday giving her a heart necklace and loving her. I don't mean for this to happen, it just does. I shrug my shoulders and I just think of her. I love her. I can't do anything about it. I mean seriously can we ever be together i tell myself . Will we? Can we? I love her..and every night when am done with my day's work i go to see her face at least  for an hour. Every night. Everywhere I go I look for HER, I see her name, her face and the love that I have for her. 

   After awhile it finally happened i approached her and we sat and discussed about it...we both started a new adventure and now the worst is about to come .... my fear of loosing her one day!